I'm not gay!
by Ashuurii
Summary: But I thought you were gay." "WHAT THE HELL! WHERE ON THIS GOD FORSAKEN EARTH DID YOU GET THAT ASSUMPTION!" "Well usually when a man doesn't like women, he's gay." "I'll prove it." "How?" -smirk- R&R! sasusaku crack-fic. Poke fun at Sasuke's sexuality!


**Ashuurii: I thought this would be fun. I was thinking about this last night and I thought it would be funny... a little.**

**Sasuke: Oh yeah it's funny for you...**

**Ashuurii: Don't be such a sour-puss! Anyway, Sasuke would you mind doing the honors?**

**Sasuke:... Hn. (sigh)**

**Ashuurii does not own Naruto.**

**-there, you happy?!**

**Ashuurii: We really need to get you counseling...**

_**I'm not gay!**_

_By: Ashuurii_

"Come on Sai! I swear, this guy's the real deal." I assured him. Hello, my name is Haruno Sakura. Currently, my best friend, well I should say my best gay-guy friend, is looking for love. So, being the kind person I am, I took it upon myself to introduce him to the man I believe to be a gay. Uchiha Sasuke. –_insert random author snickering here_- O.o

"Are you sure? I hope he isn't one of those, _ice-cube_ gay's that never open up. I like my man to have compassion!" Sai said proudly.

"No I promise you. I'll make him open up." I assured him once again.

"Oh look there he is now!"

"Hn?" Sasuke mumbled to himself as he looked up from the bench he was perched on near a serene lake, glittering with the awakened sun and the chirping bird's with the sweet aroma's of spring fluttering everywhere. He _was_ calm. Until...

"Sasuke! Look who I brought!" I smiled as a pale boy with a goofy grin yet seductive grin popped out from behind me.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun. It's a pleasure to meet you." Sai smiled as he got on one knee and kissed Sasuke's hand gentily.

"What the hell?! Dude, what the fuck?!" Sasuke yelled, jumping off the bench and hiding behind me. Honeslty, being the gay he was, hadn't he ever had a grown man kiss his hand before?

"Oh, my apologies Sasuke-kun. I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just, you are so handsome. I couldn't help myself." Sai said in a dreamy tone. Sasuke paled noticeably. As if the fangirls prowling around ready to jump his bones wasn't bad enough but now he had some homo after him. It was the Orochimaru-experience all over again. OH THE HORROR! **(BTW, I have nothing against gay's. xD)**

"Dude! That's just not right!" Sasuke squeaked. He didn't mean for it to come out as a paranoid plea of a little boy running from a hideous monster, but he was scared out of his mind. I mean honestly, who wants to relive an experience with a gay-pedophile? Hm?

"It isn't? But my dear Sasuke-kun. I was under the impression you very much like a males touch. I mean just this morning Sakura-chan told me that you-" Sai began before being rudely cut off but an animalistic growl and ultra-super-duper-Uchiha-death-glare shot toward's myself. **(It's patented too! Haha)**

"_**Sakura...**_" He growled. No, growled is an understatement. My bad, he _seethed_.

"Yes? Oh, is something wrong Sasuke? You don't like Sai? But I thought you were gay." I said innocently.

"WHAT THE HELL?! WHERE ON THIS GOD-FORSAKEN EARTH DID YOU GET THAT FUCKING ASSUMPSTION?!" Sasuke yelled, in compelte and utter shock. Who the hell believed he, _THE_ Uchiha Sasuke, was gay? A... a... homosexual! Honestly... that's preposterous.

"Well, the entire village believe's you are. I mean, when a full grown male show's no interest in the opposite sex, conclusion's are jumped to. I mean, Naruto said you were-" I began before once again, being cut off! God dammit!

"_**Naruto...**_" He seethed. How many times can one person seethe and still not go on a rampage? Must be in the Uchiha blood. Hmm...

"Well, I'll just go..." Sai said carefully before attempting to head for the hills.

"No! I'll prove to you I'm not gay." Sasuke ground out through gritted teeth as he glared daggers at me. Yeah, yeah, so intimidating. Blah...

"Ho-" I began before ONCE AGAIN being cut off. EVERYONE STOP CUTITNG ME OFF GOD DAMMIT!

Next thing I knew, Sasuke Uchiha's tongue was jammed down my throat and we were kissing passionately.

Sai smirked. Plan get Sasuke and Sakura together and prove he isn't gay was a success. Or Plan GSASTAPIG was a success. Haha.

Sai left us to our, uh... _kissing_ with a smirk on his face.

Look's like Mr. Ice-cube isn't gay after all.

**_The End._**

**Ashuurii: Haha, I've wanted to do a gay-not-Sasuke thing for a while.**

**Sakura: Whoa...**

**Sasuke: **_**(smirk)**_** See! Uchiha's are good at everything... xD**

**Naruto: Your too cocky for your own good...**

**Kakashi: Hey Sasuke... you know I can hook you up with a few series of Icha Icha Paradise... **_**(wiggles eyebrows)**_

**Sakura: Pervert...**

**Ashuurii: I vote we put Kakashi and Jiraiya with all the Icha Icha Paradise books in the world on a small remote island and nuke it! Hahahaha!!**

**Sasuke, Naruto, Sakura: I SECOND THAT MOTION!**

**Kakashi: I feel so loved... **_**(sarcasm)**_

**Ashuurii: Aw, I'm just kidding. WE LOVE YOU KAKASHI! **_**(gives cookie)**_

**Kakashi: Yay!**

**Gaara: You!! **_**(points to Kakashi)**_

**Kakashi: Me? **_**(points to self)**_

**Gaara: Yes you!! Give me the cookie pervert!! **_**(jumps Kakashi)**_

**Kakashi: Ah! Ooh gaara you bad boy... **_**(smirk)**_

**Everybody: O.o**

**Itachi: Anyway, Read and Review! We'll send you all cookies and a gaara plushie! It's panda-rific!**

**Sasuke: Die!!**

**Itachi: Ahh!!**

**Everyone: O.o, yeah...**


End file.
